-Last-

I feel so blue
I feel so hollow
I feel nothing
while i read this
It represents me
This will be my LAST....
Darkness that i face at
and visit my grandma's

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give into the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my handpull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

-byEmily-

-psychopath-

Monkey see
Monkey do
You are sick
You are pathetic
Weirdo!

-lover-

I started to think
Think of our memories
When you are in my mind
James Blunt on the WMP
Singing to me……

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?'
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

*****

What a *****
Angel look evil soul
What a *****
Don't pretend that you are innocent
What a *****
Don't pity me
It makes my skin crawl
You are the one who suppose to be pitied!

-memories-

I still remember
When I was kid
I used to visit my grandma
When I was young
I used to joke with her
When I was a student
She used to predict my results
She took care of me
When I was sick
She took care of my mom
When my mom was in hospital
She always supporting me
No matter what
She gave me lots of advices
But now
Everything is gone
She promised me
She will come to my convocation
And I know
She won't be there
I will never get to see her again
I will never get to see her lovely smile
And I know
She will always in my heart
She will never and ever be forgotten
Grandma, I love u.

-darkness-

-gone-

Finally
Angles chose to take her away
I thought I won't cry
But
Yet
I crying out loud
I don't know why
It rips my heart out
Those tears maybe gone
But the feeling won't go
I'm so care of my grandma
I really do
Why they are so cruel?
They chose to torture her at first
Why don't let her go?
Let her go happily
Rather than suffered from pain?
Why?
She's a nice person
Who deserve to be treated well
She's a kind person
Who deserve to stay healthy
Why don't just let her go?
Without worries
Without pain
With happiness
If I ever had the cure
To make this all gone away
I wish my grandma will stay healthy
But now
It seems so far away
It's so damn depressed!

-loneliness-

When atom is being bombarded
It excites to excitation state
But
At the same time
It is unstable
It falls down to ground state
By emitting some energy
No matter how many times of excitation
It will fall down to its original state

-feeling-

Children hurt
You will hear them crying
Children plays
You will hear them laughing
This is feeling
Sometimes
I feel sorry
For the mistake that I made
I feel guilty
When I hurt someone that I loved
Sometimes
I feel angry
When someone did something behind my back
I feel frustrated
When someone misunderstood my feeling

-death-

Fancy thing doesn't suit me
Maybe I started to grow up
All of sudden
I feel
Family is a part of my life
I care of my family
I lost my grandpa when I was 10
I lost my grandma when I was 21
I miss them so
I miss their love
I still remember
Grandpa took me to restaurant for tea
Grandma took me to market
And bought me toys
But now
It seems so far away
Everything is gone
Luckily
I still have one grandma from my mother's side
She taught me lots
She took care of me
When I was sick
She cooked for me
When I have no appetite
But now
She's sick
She's in pain
She told me she's ok when I called her
I hold my tears
Coz I know
It wouldn't be long that she will be here
Sooner
Angel will come to carry her away

-scream-

-Life-

Life likes chemistry
Perfect crystal doesn't exist
Nothing is perfect
All crystal may have some defects

It depends on how 'serious' it will be defective